


things will get better

by amybri2002



Series: pride month!!! [30]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Human AU, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, implied domestic abuse, pat really isn’t doing well :( i would like to hug him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24998644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amybri2002/pseuds/amybri2002
Summary: Janus tries to convince Patton to move on from the past and forge a better future.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: pride month!!! [30]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769050
Comments: 8
Kudos: 45





	things will get better

**Author's Note:**

> it’s the last day y’all!!!! i actually cannot believe i kept this up haha. today’s prompt was ‘the future’. i hope y’all enjoy this!!!!!

Patton didn’t want to think about what was to come. He never did, never wanted to look into the future, always happy to stay firmly planted in the past. Things were better in the past, back when he was happy all the time, always knew what to do, back when-

He sniffled, wiping his eye underneath his glasses and hugging his teddy tighter. He missed how his life used to be. He wanted things to be like that again. He knew that they couldn’t, not now, not again. Things were different - he had to grow up, had to move on, had to...

He heard banging downstairs and clung even tighter, sinking down under his covers. Things were fine, he’d be fine. Things had always been fine before, why wouldn’t they be fine now? Even if she was gone now, even if she’d been replaced. It was fine. He was fine. Soon enough, things would be exactly how they used to be. A loving family, a smile on everyone’s face, a feeling of warmth and a skip to his step, just like it used to be. The future was bright, surely, just like the past. Everything- Everything was fine. He’d just made a tiny mistake, he was sure everything would blow over by the morning, and he’d be on right track back to the way things used to be.

He heard a knock on his window and almost jumped out of his own skin. The window slowly opened, another boy climbing inside and making his way over to Patton’s bed. Patton couldn’t find it in him to care.

Said boy slowly dragged off Patton’s covers and looked at him, his head tilted. Patton looked back up at him - his boyfriend, Janus. Oh.

“Hello,” Patton said, wiping his tears again as he slowly sat up. “What are you-“ 

“Are you okay, Pat?” Janus asked, sitting down on the bed besides him.

Patton blinked, then looked away. “I-“

There was a crash downstairs, and Patton visibly cringed. Janus took hold of his hand. “We should get out of here.”

Patton frowned. “I- You shouldn’t even be here, Janus. If- If they-“ 

Another crash. Janus dragged Patton up, leading him over to the window. Patton didn’t protest. Before he knew it, he was on the street with his boyfriend, the sun beginning to set as the two made their way over to the park, at the back of Janus’ house. They sat down on their usual bench and Patton scooted closer to Janus, leaning his head on his shoulder. Janus wrapped an arm around Patton, pulling him closer. 

“I was worried,” Janus finally said, after a long silence. “You left so soon earlier, and you weren’t picking up your phone-“

“They took my phone off me,” Patton explained.

Janus breathed in. “Oh.” He paused. “Are you-“

“I’m okay,” Patton lied. “They, uh... They’ll come around. Everything will be fine.”

Janus frowned. “I... I don’t exactly know what’s going on,” he admitted, “but that did not seem fine.” 

Patton sighed. “I... I know. I...”

Janus pulled him closer. “You don’t have to go back, you know,” he said.

Patton glanced up at him, frowning. “I... don’t?”

“No,” Janus confirmed. “You and I could run away together. Start a new life. You’d never have to come back here.”

Patton breathed in. “I don’t want to just leave my life behind.” 

“You don’t... have to.” Janus’ grip loosened a little. “It was just a suggestion. I’m just... I’m worried about you, Patton. You always used to seem so happy, but now-“

“I am happy,” Patton insisted, plastering on a smile.

“You don’t have to pretend for me, Patton.”

“I’m always happy with you, though.”

“I have no doubts about that.” Janus gave him a soft smile. “It’s whether you’re happy the rest of the time that I’m worried about.” 

Patton was silent for a while, a little too long. “I... I’m always happy. I have to be.”

“You don’t have to be happy all the time, Patton,” Janus said. “You’re allowed to be sad. And you don’t have to hide that sadness.”

“But...” Patton looked down at the floor, his smiled fading a little. “But being happy is, like, my one defining personality trait.”

“You and I both know that isn’t true, Patton.”

Patton was silent again, for even longer this time, as he tried to figure out how to string his next words together. Nothing came out.

“Do you... want to talk about whatever’s going on?” Janus asked, quietly.

Patton shook his head, still unable to form words.

“Do you want to talk about anything else, then?”

Patton hesitated. Usually, it was so easy to talk to Janus - Janus was a good listener, and Patton could just ramble on about whatever he wanted, but... talking about feelings was harder. Patton liked to think he was in touch with his own feelings, and he found it fairly easy to read other’s emotions, but actually explaining his feelings was a lot harder. His mind was always conflicting, always trying to convince itself that everything was fine, even when he knew that it wasn’t, when he knew that it wouldn’t be. But...

“I know that eventually everything is going to be fine,” Patton ended up saying, more to himself than Janus but Janus still twisted around to listen better. “Everything was fine, and- and it still is, it’s just a little different now. I want everything to be like it used to be.”

“You know that can’t happen, Patton,” Janus said. “Repeating the past has never done anyone any good.”

“But...”

“Just because you think that everything will eventually be fine, it doesn’t mean that things aren’t shitty now.”

Patton resisted the urge to scold Janus on his swearing, and instead just sighed. “I don’t... I don’t want to think about the bad stuff.”

“Sometimes you have to think about the bad stuff to figure out how to get it to stop.”

He hated that Janus was right. Janus was always right. He understood the world in a different way to Patton, he didn’t try to just focus on the positives and force out all the negatives, and sometimes Patton needed a reminder that it was okay to acknowledge the not-so-good stuff about his life, and work to fix that.

“I don’t want to go back,” Patton finally said, without even thinking about it. “I- I want to be out of there, but at the same time I don’t want to abandon everything.”

“Tell me this, Patton,” Janus said, “has being in that place ever done you any good? Have the people there ever cared about you, or done anything to help you?”

Patton took a while to respond, once again unsure how to approach the question. “They used to. Before...” He shook his head. “I can’t just leave them behind. What if- What if it gets worse, and someone needs my help?” 

Janus sighed. “Sometimes the best way to help is to remove yourself from the situation and come back when it’s safer, or when you’re more mentally or physically fit to help. I’ve told you this, remember?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I remember.” Janus was always going on about how important it was to take care of yourself first instead of sacrificing your own wellbeing to help others. It was something that Patton still needed to work on. “You’re right. I- I need to get away. Is- Is your offer to run away together still open?”

Janus smiled. “If that’s what you want.”

“Then- Then let’s do it.”

They sat there for a while longer, possibly figuring out their next move, but probably just happy to be in one another’s presence, until they stood up and walked away, searching for their new future.


End file.
